I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
