You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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