she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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