belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
