hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize