Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
