therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
