I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
