that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
