theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
