I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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