FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
