i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
