So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
