How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
