xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
