i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
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life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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