OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
