It was confusing and full of hummus
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
