He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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