a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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