Dual....:-)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize