i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
