guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
