OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
