I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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