A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
