she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
