My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is Oprah even human
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize