I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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