I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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