Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
