Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
