she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
