Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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