he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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