I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
