And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
