sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
