I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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