I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
