Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i drank out of a bidet.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
