when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
