The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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