I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
