Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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