I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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