Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
