Porn is love you can see.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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