Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
