Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
