That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I see more hoeing in ur future
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