i barfeds in our rink
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
