She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
