i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
