Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
