Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
