Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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