I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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